My New Doctor

I knew I had to lower my expectations and standards before meeting the new guy. Dr. Bates had a very old school approach to medicine (in that he focused on treating the patients rather than taking their money) and doctors like him are few and far between these days. I had to constantly remind myself that this guy wasn't going to give me his home number, rearrange his schedule to fit me in or answer questions about my friends' medical issues. Surprisingly, I had no trouble getting an appointment at Hershey. I was expecting to have to jump through hoops, fill out mountains of forms and cut through miles of red tape to get in, but it was relatively painless.

When I arrived for my appointment, I was immediately impressed. For an enormous hospital, the waiting room was quite comfortable and friendly. The people at the front desk were so nice and helpful, too. I know this seems like an insignificant detail, but trust me, it makes a difference. I had to fill out one simple new patient form, pee in a cup, and then I was taken back to an exam room. Besides the fact that the nurse grabbed the wrong chart and tried to make me 46 years old, she was pleasant enough and efficient.

Then it was time to face the music. New doctor came in and I immediately tried to figure out his deal based on his appearance...wedding ring, questionably groomed goatee, glasses, decent haircut. He was warm and friendly, though, and he quickly put me at ease. We began going through my history and eventually got to my pooped out kidney. I made it a point to ask him all of the same questions I had asked Dr. Bates. Yes, I was testing him in a way. I figured if he gave the same answers as Dr. Bates had, maybe I could trust him with my life. He passed.

After a 45 minute visit (unheard of, I know), we had ironed out a pretty good game plan. I apparently can not be put back on the transplant list yet. Kidney function has to be at 30% or below and I am clearly not to that point yet. He does want to do biopsy the kidney to make absolute sure that there is nothing we can do to prolong the life of the transplant. Solid plan I think, and I should be having that done within the next week or two. And finally, he wants to get me started on Epogen...or whatever it is they are calling it these days. Basically, your kidneys are in charge of stimulating your bone marrow to produce more red blood cells. So, when they are failing, you make less and less which leads to anemia and extreme fatigue. Epogen is a shot that you get a few times per week that kind of nudges your bone marrow to make some red blood cells. I'm actually looking forward to starting it because I've noticed I have been increasingly more tired in the past few weeks.

All in all, I was very happy and relieved with my first appointment with new doctor. He seems to know what he is doing and wasn't at all scared off by my unique situation. My only beef? He pronounces the "h" in words that start with "wh". Weird. It's not annoying or distracting, but I found myself trying really hard to keep a straight face at times. I kept thinking about the episode of family guy where Brian gives Stewie a hard time for how he pronounces "Cool Whip"! So, new doctor shall be referred to as Dr. Cool Whip from now on!!!

http://www.hulu.com/watch/11473/family-guy-cool-whip